Beef Stroganoff

Paula once cooked for the Romanovs,

A dish that she wanted for showin' off.

She called in the boyars,

For they were all voyeurs.

They were watching each other beef stroganoff.

Written by Henry Allspice

Leftovers: Ham Fried Rice With Pineapple And Fried Egg

At first we'll chop some ham,

Then add the rice, and "BAM!"

Toss on an egg,

Come on - shake a leg!

This dish kicks dicks, "KABLAM!"

Written by Matt Campasano

Croque Madame

In prep for your science exam,

Just try out this fine Croque Madame.

Add three spoons of mayo,

And like Galileo,

You'll notice your orbit expand. 

Written by Archie Powell

Deep-Fried Stuffing On A Stick

Popsicles were her favorite treat,

But Paula Deen also loved meat.

It was time for dinner,

And she thought of a winner.

Stuffing on a stick can't be beat!

Written by Amber Valentine

Sausage Balls

I regard these balls as a skeptic

As my stomach errs toward dyspeptic.

But I chewed and I swallowed

And soon felt disemboweled.

I swear that those balls had gone septic!

Written by Lady Mildred Saint-Tomas

BLT Soup

In the kitchen we saw Paula D,

Assembling a huge BLT.

"To Hell with the bread,

I'll use mayo," she said,

And proceeded to drink it with glee.

Written by Ryan Lynch

Gooey Butter Cake

Paula was getting so moody

Her cake was too dry or too chewy.

Threw in one pound of butter,

Then added another,

And now it is all moist and gooey.

Written by Matthew Pagel

Paula's Nutty Brittle From Savannah's Candy Man

Paula begged the man from Savannah

For the ways of his nutty mana.

"The trick's in the stretchin',

Not too much aggression,

Don't stop til' it reaches Atlanta."

Written by Michael McEwan

Crab & Asparagus Quiche Cupcakes

Miss Deen, while one day cupcaking

(And not terribly quick on uptaking)

Caused quite a sensation

By using crustaceans

And now she must surely stop baking.

Written by Henry Allspice

Biscuits

Baking biscuits, a cook for the navy

The ship’s low rations to save, see,

Paula supplied the confection, 

With her yeast infection.

Who knows what she used for the gravy?

Written by Henry Allspice

Sausage Pie

Paula loves dessert after dinner
But with waiting, miss Deen is no winner.
So rather than wait, 

Stick both on one plate!
This pie will quite soon be in her.

Written by Zach Rapport

Lady's Brunch Burger

Paula Deen stuck to her guns
Making burgers with donuts for buns.
With bacon on top, 

She ate them nonstop,

And now she weighs one metric ton.

Written by Archie Powell

Savannah High Apple Pie

Me oh me oh my!
Paula Deen once made a pie.
She'd never be slim,

For it was packed to the brim,

With gristle in ample supply.

Written by Archie Powell