Three Cheese Hot Artichoke Dip

Oh, cheesy artichoke dip!

You just gave my innards a trip.

Had to sit on the pot

With nasty gut rot,

And I think that I blew out a hip!

Written by Andy Szatkowski

Southern Fried Oysters

Say that you're craving some seafood

And nothing else simply will do,

But you don't want to shuck it,

Then you can say "fuck it", 

These oysters are what you should choose.

Written by Todd Langler

Stuffed Pork Chops With Grits

Stuffed pork chops n' grits are the shit,

Just take one bite and you'll surely admit.

And say what you will,

But make it not ill,

'Cause if so you might just get hit.

Written by Matt Campasano 

Grandmother Paul's Sour Cream Pound Cake

Uncle Paul wanted to bake

His family's famous pound cake.

But he had not the butter

So he ground up some nutters,

And a grandmother then he did make.

Written by Michael McEwan

Beef Stroganoff

Paula once cooked for the Romanovs,

A dish that she wanted for showin' off.

She called in the boyars,

For they were all voyeurs.

They were watching each other beef stroganoff.

Written by Henry Allspice

Leftovers: Ham Fried Rice With Pineapple And Fried Egg

At first we'll chop some ham,

Then add the rice, and "BAM!"

Toss on an egg,

Come on - shake a leg!

This dish kicks dicks, "KABLAM!"

Written by Matt Campasano

Croque Madame

In prep for your science exam,

Just try out this fine Croque Madame.

Add three spoons of mayo,

And like Galileo,

You'll notice your orbit expand. 

Written by Archie Powell